heartbreak VI

chained-up again
       to the same train
 of thought
          the same myriad
 of emotions– war inside;
   and I am taken
       hostage and dumped
 (yes, 
       dumped,
               all over again)
by these thoughts
         these raging knocks
on old wood: how 
        much time has gone by?
             how much time
   until I realise, I’ve been
 flogging myself:   
    in an act
of stubborn passion,
         not of
              faith?

looking around my
       old room, this
beautiful cell, I count
   seventeen lines
         on endless walls,  
 then tear up books
        rip out scraps
             of paper
  that fly out, everywhere
in thousands of words,
    that flutter and sing
 as I think,
        think once again:

fuck,
      where did I put
 my freedom now?

  

 Photo credit: Leonard Lucas, by Eber Figueira
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